Ten Reasons Why I Wish I Wasn’t A Writer

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Row80, Writing

Lately I have been having a lot of these “I wish I wasn’t a writer” moments. And I’m pretty sure I am not the only writer to feel this way.

Writing is a grueling, endless job that never, ever stops. While it’s rewarding in itself, it is also exhausting. Lately the exhaustion has gotten to me more, perhaps with my now one-year-old getting more active and demanding.

So I’ve been thinking. And the results are ten reasons why I wish I wasn’t a writer.

1. I would have loads more “free time.”
2. I could read a lot more books.
3. I would enjoy those books I read a lot more instead of over analyzing them.
4. I wouldn’t feel stressed if I weren’t writing.
5. I would be able to take a vacation without feeling guilty.
6. I wouldn’t be spending every spare second thinking of ways to fix my WIP’s plot.
7. I wouldn’t be struggling to find a few seconds to fix my WIP’s plot.
8. I wouldn’t feel like making a meal is a waste of time. I can just snack.
9. There wouldn’t be the eternal struggle between exercise and writing.
10. I would probably feel like anything I have to say is actually worth listening to.

There they are. The top ten reasons I don’t want to be a writer.

*Disclaimer: I do, actually, still love writing. But it is exhausting to constantly feel like you must write for fear of forgetting something great or fear of not making any progress. And when writing isn’t your day job, then it means all your spare time is spent writing or thinking about writing or feeling guilty for having other things to do than writing.

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Six Months of Sundays #RoW80 Check-in

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a round of words in 80 days, Reflections, Row80, Writing, Writing Goals

What a week. It’s been both up and down, exhausting and exhilarating. I write this from Snohomish, Washington, what I called “home” a mere six months ago.

It’s crazy how little has changed since I left, even in terms of the people I’ve run into. And yet, six months have passed, and my friends’ kids are so much bigger than when I left!

Six months is a long time, and seeing my friends after so long apart, makes me wonder what I have accomplished in those six months. Luckily, I have RoW80 to keep me on track and keep track of those very accomplishments I wonder about.

Six months ago, I wrote a post titled “Hometowns.” It was a reflection on my move from Snohomish back to Fairbanks, Alaska, and rereading it now, I see the darkness from which I was speaking. I portrayed hope, but I didn’t really feel hope.

Do you ever do that? Portray something that you don’t quite feel?

Anyway, four months ago, I started participating in RoW80 again. I had participated once before, and dropped out after awhile (I can’t remember why), but four months ago I gave it another try, desperate for some motivation to get back into the writing life and some level of accountability, for there was no one to nudge me back into the writing life.

RoW80 gave me that accountability, nudged me into completing my goals and stating my goals. That, coupled with an online course I participated in, gave me the writing rebirth I needed after my son was born.

Over the past six months, I’ve gone from not writing much at all, to writing nearly every day, to being back into the mindset of my WIP and to checking things off my list.

Granted, this weekend has been different since I’ve been out of town and visiting all the friends I can in three days. However, on the flight here I was able to work on my WIP a bit, outlining scene by scene, and writing some.

Goals this week are:

Rewrite Chapter 1 of my WIP.
Finish outlining scene-by-scene of my WIP. (currently at 13/24 Chapters)
Memorize the next five chapters of Latin vocab.

As I head back to AK tomorrow, I plan on using my time at the airport to continue scene-by-scene outlining, and also to consider a slight plotting change that has occurred to me.

Hopefully I will get one more night of good sleep (sans baby) and be able to be alert and focused on my WIP with the last amount of time I have to work on it this weekend!

 

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Always Learning; Midweek #RoW80 Check-In

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a round of words in 80 days, K.M. Weiland, Latin, Latin Language, Martha Alderson, Outlining, Plotting, Row80, Structuring Your Novel, The Plot Whisperer, Writing, Writing Books, Writing Craft, Writing Goals, Writing Resources

How is it already Wednesday?

I think as I get older the weeks seem to go faster and faster, as if time speeds up in correlation with age.

Or maybe that’s just how I feel this week. Because certain hours of the day can certainly drag by, especially as a mother of an eleven month old.

This week the dog has also been sick. The only thing that can make a child not sleeping through the night worse is getting up in the middle of the night to also clean up diarrhea and vomit from the dog. 😐 Some weeks…

In terms of my weekly goals though, I’ve managed to plug along and get some things done. It helped dramatically that I somewhat caught up on sleep this past weekend, probably clocking about 10-12 hours each night, thanks to my mother taking the baby Friday night and my hubby letting me sleep in Sunday morning. I am totally spoiled. Especially since my hubby got me the best gift ever: a weekend away this weekend!

It seems rather unromantic of him to give me Valentine’s Day away, but I’m really looking forward to it, and this way he already has Monday off so that he can be on parenting duty while I’m flying home. How did I get so lucky? This guy spoils me…

So I’m really looking forward to this weekend, two plane trips where I can read, write, and do whatever I want (it’s been almost a year since I’ve flown without a child in tow!). And this weekend I get to catch up with my friends whom I have not seen in almost six months! I am seriously excited.

To get back to my RoW80 goals, I’ve done really well this week, partly because I haven’t been so tired that I have to nap during the day. Today I did lay down for awhile though, and it was probably the best choice. I haven’t written my daily word goal yet today, but I’ve gone over every day this week so far, so I’m in good shape for my word goal this week.

I’ve been continuing to make a list in my journal every day of what I need to accomplish, even if it’s just things like calling the doctor (or vet) or texting a friend about plans this weekend or changing the sheets on the bed. It feels so good to cross that off the list.

This week my main goal has been to reoutline my WIP, and I’ve made progress on that. I’ve reoutlined the main scenes, picking out the Hook, Inciting Event, Key Event, Pivot Point #1/Call to Adventure, First Half of the Second Act, Midpoint, Pivot Point #2, Climax, & Resolution. I’ve used K.M. Weiland‘s Structuring Your Novel to do this outline. It lets me know that I’m on target in terms of where my plot points are landing and if I’m set up to succeed in the second half of my WIP.

Now, I’m using Martha Alderson’s The Plot Whisperer Workbook to perform scene-by-scene analyses of my WIP. It’s a lot more work than the prior outline method, as I have to go through every scene and break it down. It’s enlightening, especially since her guidance is to outline the following for each scene: scene/summary, date/setting, character emotional development, scene goal (per character), dramatic/action plot, conflict, emotional change, thematic significance/details.

So my goal this weekend, while I have hours on a plane (3.5 each way roughly), and plenty of baby-free time, is to get this scene-by-scene structure up to date (I’m midway through my novel), and continue to write ahead in my WIP.

I also hope to read The Plot Whisperer: Secrets of Story Structure Any Writer Can Master this weekend. (I actually bought the workbook without having read the main book–can you believe that? Although I did participate in Martha’s PlotWriMo last December.)

I have also revisited my goal of learning Latin. I have been an inconsistent studier of the Latin language for years, and I go in phases of being diligent, then drop out of practice and lose what I have gained. This time, I am trying to make it a habit with 10-15 minutes a day of learning vocab, writing, translating, reading, and listening to Latin. Writing it down in my journal makes it a goal that I want to cross off the list just to say I’ve done it. So I continue to plug away. After I regain my Alaskan residency, my plan is to enroll in the distance Latin class at UAF and complete those three courses. Hopefully that will give me motivation to learn!

Well, I’ve gone on more than intended, so I’d better get back to my list of things to do and get ready to go to our new Bible study!

 

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Sunday Sunday Sunday! #RoW80 Check-in

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a round of words in 80 days, Editing, Outlining, Plotting, Revision, Row80, Subplots, WIP, Writing, Writing Goals

Well another week has passed. I think we are finally exiting this cold and moving back to normal life. The cough has lingered, but it’s not so bad anymore.

In terms of meeting my goals, I’ve been making progress. Saturday I spent almost the entire day reoutlining my WIP and feel a lot better about where it sits right now. I was feeling a little lost during this rewrite, and needed to do this as my draft has deviated from my outline. So at the midpoint, I paused to reread and reevaluate my WIP.

It’s always about the halfway mark that I lose confidence in my stories. This time has been no exception. Usually I end up taking a breather, and sometimes I end up going back to the beginning and rewriting from there.

With this draft, which I’ve dubbed “Draft 2.5,” I have gone back to the beginning and chosen to merge two characters into one, also renamed the character I’ve merged. So it’s been a good chance to go back and review what I’ve written up to now, see how it’s deviated from the outline I had post Draft 1, and revise my outline accordingly.

I’m also taking this week to check my plotting progress up to the midpoint. I want to make sure that my plot points are falling at roughly the right spot, that I don’t have rabbit trails in the plot and that I’ve introduced all the major characters and major plot lines that are important. If I introduce a gun in an early scene, it needs to be used in a later scene. (Someone said that, but I can’t remember who right now.)

Although it seems like I haven’t made a lot of forward progress in my WIP, I know that stepping back to reevaluate now can save me a lot of time later in revisions. I want to make sure that my plot is plotted well–a reader can forgive poor writing, but is less apt to forgive poor plotting. Even one who isn’t paying attention to the “craft” of writing, will notice a sagging plot line.

This draft I am focusing on the major plot, and I plan on tweaking the subplot(s) in the next reread/draft. Although I am a multi-tasker in most of my life, I find that in writing, I tend to stick to one project at a time, and want to “perfect” that WIP before moving on.

In other goals, the cold weather has made it hard to get out, my cold, and life in general has just made it tough to get back into the groove of running. I have, however, done a few weight exercises, and some non-running exercises. So it’s not been too bad, but I’ve certainly not been as diligent in watching what I eat. That’s been a real struggle for me lately, as when I’m at home with the baby, I tend to snack rather mindlessly, and don’t choose the best of snacks.

I have been keeping up and keeping busy with household chores though, and it feels good to know that I’m keeping a clean house and things aren’t piling up for the weekend. Baby loves to help vacuum, dust, and do laundry right now, so that passes the day a little quicker! And since he’s taken to a two hour nap most mornings, it gives me a good chunk of time to sit down and write/edit/outline if I am not too tired from the night before!

All in all, it’s been a rather productive week. I continue to make a list and keep track of what I’ve accomplished, whether or not it’s writing oriented. It gives me a direction to go every day, makes me feel as though I’m productive even when I’ve stayed home all day and only accomplished laundry.

 

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Stalled & Frosted Over (#RoW80 Midweek Check-in)

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a round of words in 80 days, Blessings, Inspiration, Instagram, Photography, Row80, Writing, Writing Distractions, Writing Goals, Writing Inspiration

Cold snaps lead to ice on the inside of the house windows and frosty, snowy trees. Every recent morning the nursery windows have been icy.

It’s been a cold couple of weeks here in Fairbanks, Alaska–in more ways than one. Baby and I have colds, and it’s been downwards of -30F. So staying bundled up inside hasn’t been hard to accomplish, even though nothing ever stops at these temperatures up here.

Even though it should seem I’ve had more time to accomplish my weekly goals, I haven’t. Last week was a total bust after I got my cold; this week has thankfully started better. Still, it has its own challenges. I’m waiting for those days where I have to drag my son out of bed, not have him constantly waking me up! (They tell me that day will come sooner than later…)

Since becoming a mother, personal time has become infinitely more valuable. I have a wonderful husband who blesses me with “me time” when he comes home from work by taking the baby off my hands. (How did I get so lucky to marry this man?) And I have an awesome mother who babysits one afternoon a week and usually takes baby on Friday nights and Saturdays. (How did I score on that front?) And when I get that “me time,” I have an amazing office in our new house where I can sit and get an inspiring view of THE MOUNTAIN. (That would be Denali for all you non-Alaskans out there.)

Yeah. That’s the view of Denali from my office window. How can I NOT be inspired?

Alpine glow on The Mountain. Glorious sunsets abound here in a Fairbanks winter…

So what do I have to complain about?

Well, there is never enough writing time. These days, I count my accomplishments by how much sleep I’ve gotten, if I’ve managed to clean up the house before hubby arrives home, if I’ve managed to write a mere 250 words a day, if I’ve managed to go on a run three times a week. Yeah, those simple, ordinary tasks are my goals.

Days spent outside in the snow with my wee one… He’s worth it. He’s worth every moment that I don’t have time to write because of him.

Life as a stay-at-home mom/writer seems so mundane most days. A constant struggle between wanting to sleep and going crazy trying to keep the baby happy and occupied. With fussy days and sleepless nights, it seems my writing aspirations have been put on the extra-slow track.

I have to learn to be okay with that. I’m still struggling with that, to be honest. I miss my surplus of writing time from the pre-baby days, but I know I will once again have more time to write. In the meantime, I make the most of the time I’m given, and choose writing instead of TV or other guilty pleasures.

So tell me: How do you keep your spirits up when you don’t accomplish your goals?

I may complain about being back in my hometown at times, but it is a beautiful place to live. And I am blessed to be one of its residents.

Follow me on Instagram or Twitter.

 

 

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Super Bowl Sunday #RoW80 Check-in

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a round of words in 80 days, Row80, Writing, Writing Goals

Well, this week has not been productive for me. Started off well, but ended up with a horrible head cold that put everything on the back burner. The baby has also gotten my cold, is still getting over his ear infections, and decided that now would be the best time to cut his first molar. So all in all, it’s been a pretty rough week in our household.

That said, I have managed to do a little bit of writing. I’ve managed about 1730 words over the past 7 days, which is better than I expected, and only 20 words under my weekly goal of 1750 right now. For all the challenges of this week, I’d say that’s pretty good.

However, running has just not happened. We’ve had our first real cold snap for the winter, where the highs were in the -20s, and the thought of running in that weather with a head cold was enough to put me back in bed during almost all nap times. I do hope, however, that this week will bring some opportunity to run, and also continued improvement for our colds.

Oh, and…Go Hawks. 🙂

 

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Sick Week or #RoW80 Check-in

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a round of words in 80 days, Row80, Writing, Writing Goals

Oh it’s been quite the week. How can three days feel so long?

It always seems like whenever I get in a groove, something happens to mess it up. Case in point: this week I’ve come down with the worst hacking cough I’ve ever had.

Coupled with the baby’s ear infections, and his boundless energy, I’ve chosen naps over writing nearly every nap time. The idea of running is just insane this week, and I can only wait this out and hope that it clears up soon.

So to those of you that are accomplishing goals, way to go, stick with it. I’ll get back in the saddle someday soon!

 

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Day Late & A Dollar Short #RoW80 Check-In

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a round of words in 80 days, Row80, Running, Writing, Writing Goals

It’s Sunday Monday again. That means it’s time to check in. (No, for some reason, my Sundays are so busy I cannot seem to get my act together and check-in those days!)

The latter half of this week remained productive despite baby’s ear infections. That’s right, infectionS. He most likely has a sinus infection, too, as his nose hasn’t stopped running since early December. 😦 Despite it all, he’s a happy baby–what a blessing!

As for my goals, I’ve been pretty much on target. I’ve been trying something new this past couple of weeks, and using a journal I was given for Christmas to log my weekly goals/to-do lists, and daily list my accomplishments. I have to say, it’s rewarding just to be able to cross something off the list in a physical sense, and also to have a daily record of what I have accomplished. Of course, my to-do list/goals this week grew to an entire page long, so I’m not sure how that’s encouraging… It’s like every thing I think of now I put on the list, in the hopes that I can cross it off, like contact the health club about swim lessons for baby A, and plan my birthday Europe trip coming up in six months, blog, write, bake, meal plan, etc. It’s a daunting list, really, but it’s encouraging when I can cross something off.

Some of those items are things I want to do every day, so I place a check mark next to them when I do it once, and a second mark for the next day, etc, in the hopes that I get the desired number of check marks by the week’s end and can physically cross the item off the list. So far, it’s working well. I am a visual person, and I like to see what I am accomplishing.

Last week I made my desired word count, averaging over 250 words a day (even though I didn’t get the opportunity to write each day). I also finally started running again. Saturday, my long run, catapulted me back into the saddle with a 9.7 mile run in subzero temperatures. It was pretty cold, I admit. I was running in goose down, and I was still cold. But I’m glad I did it–I’ve never been so frosted over, but I felt incredibly accomplished to be able to say I completed my long run for the week and did it in -17˚F. Check out my blog post here, complete with pictures.

So, although it’s Monday afternoon in my time zone, here’s to another productive week! 🙂

 

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#RoW80 Check-in

Tags

Row80, Writing, Writing Goals

Ever have one of those unproductive weeks months?

It’s difficult to get back into the swing of things after the holidays. Made more difficult by a child who seems to have insomnia most nights. But that’s enough complaining. One day I won’t be able to get this boy out of bed, I’m sure!

As for my goals, I’ve struggled to meet them. Most days 250 words seems an insurmountable accomplishment. I have managed other things though, like meal planning, and cleaning the house, things I can do while the baby is awake.

The past weeks I have realized how much snacking I do, especially when tired or frustrated. It’s my goal to eat healthier and this snacking certainly doesn’t help. But I have been meal planning, which is a huge relief. At least I know what I’m cooking that night!

Last week I also fell off the running wagon. When the baby is not sleeping well, running is the last thing I want to do during one of his precious nap times! So I’ll resume that, hopefully this week.

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Reflections on the Final #RoW80 Check-In and #Draft 2.5

Tags

a round of words in 80 days, Row80, WIP, Writing, Writing Goals

Wow. Look at that, another round down.

Over the past 80 days, I’ve had plenty of time to reach goals and revise goals.

I separated my goals into writing and non-writing goals. My main writing goal was to get to the midpoint of my current WIP. My main non-writing goal was to get the house organized/unpacked.

I’m pleased to say that I’ve gotten both those goals accomplished.

Goal #1

My goal was essentially to write about 50K in these past 80 days, or edit to the midpoint of my WIP.

After accomplishing this task the other week, I almost immediately realized something is wrong with this draft.

And began rewriting it.

Thankfully, I think I know what is wrong, and that is that I have one too many characters. There are two characters in this draft that I could easily merge into one, and the book would be more clear for it. Instead of creating a murky subplot with two characters, I’ll be writing a subplot that can shine with only one. Of course, it requires a bit of tweaking, but actually not too much because both of the characters I’m merging are minor at this point.

But it also leads me to the thought that the MC’s eventual love interest hasn’t had a lot of page time yet. It’s not fair to a reader to withhold the love interest until the second half of the novel, with only a few glimpses before that. I need to scatter him in throughout, and so I’ll be padding up this draft with a few more appearances of his as well.

Unfortunately, this is the point where I always get cold feet. I begin to think that my WIP is never going to be good enough, because after this rewrite, I see so much still wrong with it. I lose heart because I’m a perfectionist and I see too many flaws.

So I’m trying something new this time. Instead of forcing myself through this draft and being unhappy with it in the end, leaving myself tons of writing and rewriting to do, I’m stopping, going back to the beginning, and merging the two characters now.

I guess I’ll call it my Draft 2.5. Draft 2-1/2? Hmm.

Goal #2

After moving this past summer and buying a new house, moving in, and trying to unpack, I was left with several areas of the house that were in various states of disarray.

Therefore, it was one of my major goals to order those areas because, at heart, if I had endless time, I’d be majorly OCD. But, since I don’t have endless time, I allow myself to be OCD in a few areas, and tolerate the other areas until I simply cannot tolerate them any longer.

This past week, I’ve stopped tolerating them. Case in point: Today the garage got a major clean-up. We have friends arriving tomorrow for a week, and although they won’t care about the state of our garage, its cluttery mess was driving me ca-rra-zy every time I saw it. So I tidied it up this morning, while the hubby was getting the downstairs ready for our friends.

It feels fantastic, I must say, to have ordered the house, and to have most things get their own place. I only wish I had the time and money to invest in an organization system. But I am seriously contemplating a pegboard with tool outlines for the garage…

Something like this:

Image found Here.

Or is that too OCD? Although I have the feeling that it’s the only way I’d get my husband to put things back in the place they belong…

 

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas celebrating Our Savior’s birth. I look forward to a chilly New Year filled with friends and family, and hope you do the same!

 

 

 

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